Office Life: A Comedy in Infinite Meetings
This meeting could have been an email, this email could have been silence, and this silence could have been you, at home, in pajamas. Relatable office humor for the 9-to-5 survivors.
Office Life: A Comedy in Infinite Meetings
Dedicated to everyone who has ever muted themselves on a Zoom call to scream into a pillow.
The Calendar Trap
Someone at work sent me a meeting invite for a meeting to discuss the agenda for next week’s meeting.
I accepted it.
I don’t know who I am anymore.
Reply All
One person hit Reply All on a company-wide email to say “Thanks!”
Then someone replied to THAT with “Please remove me from this thread.”
To everyone.
We lost seventeen people that day. Good people. They just… walked into the parking lot and never came back.
The Open Office
Our company switched to an open-plan office to “encourage collaboration.”
What it actually encourages is learning which of your coworkers eats chips in a way that makes you question your commitment to nonviolence.
Performance Review Season
My manager asked me to describe my biggest weakness in my annual review.
I said, “Honesty.”
She said, “I don’t think that’s a weakness.”
I said, “I don’t really care what you think.”
It went fine. I think.
The Kitchen Thief
Someone in my office has been stealing lunches from the fridge for three weeks.
We put up a passive-aggressive note. They stole the pen we wrote it with.
We have to respect it, honestly. That’s commitment to a bit.
Working From Home vs. Working From Office
Working from home: zero commute, full focus, wear the same sweatpants for spiritual reasons.
Working from the office: free coffee, fluorescent lighting that makes everyone look like they’re haunting the building, and Dennis from accounting breathing loudly approximately six inches from your left ear for eight hours.
The commute was never the problem. Dennis was always the problem.